Two recent films to appear in the 'art film' cinemas deal with grossly dysfunctional families and celebrations. In 'Rachel's Getting Married' it is quite obviously a marriage, in 'A Christmas Tale' the obvious as well. Although most families are hardly as dramatically over-the-top as those described in these recent films, many families come close.
My mission for this blog posting is to emphasize the need for family members to attempt to transcend their differences. My motive is more than the obvious about keeping peace in times of family festivities. I am speaking of a different, deeper, more profoundly metaphysical reason.
For those readers of this blog who follow my personal perspective my conclusions may be already quite apparent. I do believe we are 'spiritual beings having a human experience' and that reincarnation is inextricably involved. We are who we are, with the relatives we have for a definite reason. Our souls contract to be in families with other souls from past lives. The reasons are actually apparent in many families…..to work out difficulties from previous incarnations.
It takes two individuals to have a 'fight'. If one chooses to let go of the anger and pain than it just cannot happen. The one who backs away, who understands what is involved in a deeply spiritual level can maintain their own serenity. The one overwhelmed with the emotional baggage 'loses' the contest.
Life is supposed to be composed of adversities as well as joy. Relationships are sometimes supposed to be 'challenging' and difficult. Why else bother making the journey into physical existence?
The point, therefore, is this–recognize this truth, seek to make peace with your relatives in this lifetime or you will eventually have to do so in a future one.
A friend of mine I'll call Bob had always complained about this parents. He felt that they never supported him, always put him down and were generally not nurturing to him. He harbored animosity for years towards them. After he became a parent he swore to do a better job with his own family.
He apparently did. Bob pursued a deeply spiritual path and came to recognize his link with his parents were 'for a reason'. He forgave his father for his parenting because he came to believe that his father had his own 'issues' and perhaps did the best he could. This forgiveness did not imply that he accepted the way his father acted, only that he let go of his own anger which was bringing him down.
His father was made to understand that Bob had learned how 'not' to parent from him—-and that was OK. Bob made his peace with his father because he knew it was the right thing to do. He is more serene within than he can ever remember.
We are linked with our family for a reason. We can never truly forget who we are and who we are here with. The sooner we acknowledge and heal those difficulties the better for all of us.
Happy Holidays !!