My Practice

One speaks

Of a

Spiritual practice

Whatever that means





The terminology


In comparison

To the act

The state of being 

So I have come

To realize

That my practice

Of medicine

Is my practice




That Way


In my continual search for a meditation practice I return to concepts that may or may not have “worked” in the past.  Referring to a 2009 blog posting on this topic I can find some renewed interest in its features.   

It centers on the breath but with an awareness of the ephemeral nature of existence. We know that breathing has both a voluntary and involuntary component–if not we would not survive an evening’s sleep.  But the voluntary nature of breathing is powerful and can be used as a spiritual metaphor.

We can visualize the Universe, God, Ein Sof as willing our existence–literally from breath to breath.  This Kabbalistic interpretation differentiates us as animals, living beings who do not exchange oxygen and CO2 passively like plants.

Therefore, we can regard our very existence as a choice which depends on the Universe offering the gift of life for just this breath and not another. When we breath in, the Universe is breathing life energy into us.  When we breath out the Universe is accepting our release of control.  Our usual state of consciousness avoids considering this possibility. But  we can focus and immerse ourselves in gratitude for life itself–and the gift of one more breath. 

This is akin to the notion of releasing the illusion of control in which we usually exist. Our giving it up to the Universe allows us to finally relax.  There is no reason to panic, or worry.  We can release our tight grip on ourselves.  Plunging into the abyss is our destiny.  Will we recover from it?

Wait for the next breath.


Science Daily provides me with much interesting material drawn from across the spectrum of new scientific advances from a variety of fields.  The article entitled “Origin of human genus may have occurred by chance” discusses one of the explanations for Homo Sapiens superior intellect and ultimate survival as global climate change “event” which altered the physical environment of our pre-human ancestors such that we ultimately evolved.

 This article essentially dismisses the global change argument and therefore concludes that our emergence as a subspecies, is genus occurred “by chance”.  This opens up a fascinating but controversial discussion of who we really are.  Are we merely the ultimate survivor in the pure expanse of evolutionary forces? Or do we posses a spiritual nature which completely alters the interpretation of humanities very existence.  

I have often referred to French Jesuit paleontologist Pierre Teilhard de Chardin whose quote “you are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience but a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.”  This understand of the nature of who we are completely alters any  concept of “chance” in ultimate human evolution.

 Is there evidence for such a belief.  I believe there is.  Read the book, the blogs, be open to your own perception of the world.  The truth is out there.



Born to run

But not yet

Five weeks ahead

Always early

A family trait

Your lungs not ready

To make the switch

From fish

To beast

Emerging from

Your amniotic bath

Too soon

Be patient

(Advice to me)

You are

As by Design

Not ready to run


Not yet


The invention of time lapse photography

By George Melies, 1897

Brought them to their feet

In absolute astonishment

Those dancing flowers

Skies flashing blue, pink, crimson

Clouds expanding, contracting, swelling

Wisping into nothingness 

Emerging ghost-like

What was it like

To be there

When time revealed itself

All at once

My “Practice”– How a Spiritual Practice becomes a Medical One

Those seekers of metaphysical truth often speak of their “practice” by which they usually imply a spiritual practice.  What they mean by that term may vary greatly.  It might involve meditation, yoga, prayer, organized religious participation or a variety of deeply personal experiences in the pursuit of meaning and spiritual development.  

But there is an approach that I have been pursuing over the past few years–that is to regard my medical practice AS a spiritual one.  It might not be obvious to any outside observers, i.e. My patients or even my staff would not have noticed any change.  The transformation is more subtle perhaps but definitely an internal one.  I would like to regard what I do in my medical practice as a spiritual practice as well.

 I attempt to be mindful of this when I put on my white lab coat at the start of a session of seeing office patients.  I am consciously and subconsciously donning the robes of the shaman, the priest, the rabbi in order to bring into the examination room a sense that healing can and will occur.

 As I type these words I want to make clear that I don’t see this action as elevating myself above my patients. I don’t feel that this is about my ego.  On the contrary I am humbled to be in a position to help alleviate suffering.  I say a silent prayer to Divinity to give me the wisdom, to offer solace, to make recommendations.  In essence to assist in any way possible to help in the healing of my patient.

 The exam room is, to me, a secret garden, a confessional box, the holy of holies.  I am not trying to be overly dramatic with these words.

 I have tried to make my medical practice my spiritual one.


News flash–the world is broken. Really? Say no more. Look at the news for a milisecond, look at your own lives, at times.

 Brokenness seems to be the default position for existence.  Its depressing at times, to be sure.  Is this the result of Divine punishment for our sins at being human or the random fallout of an unfeeling cosmos?

 I choose the myth of Tikkun.  It is ancient, Kabbalistic and based on a fascinating and surprising notion.  The world is broken, in need of healing.  And it is on purpose!  A more detailed explanation at another time, but a flawed, broken universe is parts of the Divine plan.  But the myth goes further, as I see it.  The flaw in the universe does not reflect Divine weakness but a Divine gift to us.  Tikkun is healing, fixing what was shattered at Creation and WE, human beings are the instrument to do it.  

It is a Divine challenge, an obligation but also an opportunity.  In healing the world, Tikkun Olam,  being active in righting wrongs, in helping others overcome adversity we accomplish the goal of healing ourselves, our souls Tikkun Ha-nefesh.   The two are mutually dependent and mutually supportive.  So do not be depressed by the news (really?).  Dig deep down and recognize opportunity when it confronts you– be a healer, a fixer.  Do Divine work and heal the world as well as yourself. Thank the Divine for the opportunity. Thanks for the chance to do Tikkun


A dying atheist’s prayer….

“I am a man alone in the cosmos”.

But there is no suffering in me

True there is no place to go

No bearded One

Or fantasy of redemption

But I rest serene

In a state of knowing

That this suit of carbon atoms, a perfect fit

Was used before–in a rock, a plant, a T. Rex perhaps

It is a borrowed vessel

Spewed forth from the dying supernova

The literal star dust that illuminates me

Those atoms of carbon that became me

Are themselves immortal

And that is enough

And so I sparkle

With the soul of billions of carbon beings

Each with their own consciousness

I am illuminated

My password is gratitude

My deepest silent knowing

That borrowing means

You have to give it back

What was never mine to own

An honor to recycle

Can you return a suit that has been worn?

In this story there is no other kind

S.E. Hodes


We inhabit a universe of self-help articles/ programs and gurus. We have access to a multitude of therapists of all kinds from psychoanaltic to energy/spiritual healers to Yoga instructors, religious leaders etc. etc.  Ultimately, however, no one else can do the work of healing for us.  It must come from within.

There are times in which I find myself seeking to read the next tidbit of advise, of wisdom or recommendation.  And truthfully there is good reason to do the seeking outside of ourselves for clues to what we might need.  But healing ultimately means “to make whole” that which is unfinished, broken, dysfunctional.  And although we can read the blueprint that is available to us, we need to do our own deep, often times difficult work to accomplish what needs to be done.

There are chemicals/ drugs/ pharmaceuticals which allow people to function better but these are not truly healing, only allowing those of us in extremis to do our own work. Firstly, make a diagnosis.  What is ailing you, really? Our physical complaints need to be addressed by seeking professional help.  Our spiritual/emotional selves cannot be healed by another.

Do the research, seek outside advise and counsel but ultimately filter all of it through your own deep awareness.  What resonates with you as truth? Your soul speaks to you through feelings. It knows what you need to heal and will give you signs, some subtle, others more dramatic.  Don’t ignore them or rationalize them away.  Embrace the intention to heal.

Discard the role of victim or the notion that you deserve to suffer for your “sins” or some unknown karmic debt.  Don’t accept such a negative diagnosis–especially  when it is self-inflicted. Don’t drown your pain in drugs/ alcohol or sex or other diversions. Understand that only you can fix yourself.  Meditate, relax, exercise practice gratitude and kindness to yourself as well as others. Understand the basic of truth of existence–you are a spiritual being have a human experience.  Mediate on that mantra. It will change your perspective.  Only someone ready to be healed can do so and believe you have the ability to accomplish it.