Does the title of this posting make any sense to anyone? The background involves my own frustration with losing about 10 lbs of weight I had put on. Now, it was not really a big deal either way, but the fact that I found myself compulsively eating small amounts of ‘junk food’ at my office was upsetting to me.
After all, where was my resolve NOT to do so? Why couldn’t I control this seemingly ridiculous habit of grabbing a handful of cashews or biting into a cookie, or opening a coffee cake package?
I became aware of the fact that I had begun to eat a bagel with cheese every morning. This concept of eating ‘breakfast’ seemed necessary as the conventional ‘wisdom’ dictated that it was the most ‘important meal of the day’ I began to skip this routine, drinking coffee alone. And lo and behold, I found my compulsion to grab anything in site….controlled. I might look to take some nuts or cookies as before. But this time I could easily ignore the habit and move on.
Now what was happening to me? Perhaps it was the curse of the carbos. Perhaps I was not riding a roller coaster of blood sugar which allowed me to resist what had been irresitible before.
I was strangley pleased, yet also disturbed by the thought. Where was my free will? Where was my ability to make rational choices? Why had eating a bagel rendered me a mindless automaton?
Perhaps free will was less ‘free’ after all.
It makes you wonder….