We seek order out of chaos.
We seek to relieve our suffering and that of those we love. We hope for happiness. We despise illness, disease and death. We abhor war, killing and torture. We seek success and peace. We worry about the past–the mistakes we made, the poor choices, the people we trusted who disappointed us.
We miss the life we had dreamed of, the loved ones who have passed away. We worry that those we love will have misfortune befall them, will make poor choices, will suffer.
We can't get over it. We suffer
Problems arise because we CAN control some of our fate.
We know that we can perform certain tasks which will make our lives easier, more fulfilling. We can live a healthy life style, we can plan for our futures, we can plan trips, we can arrange for meetings, we can study hard, we can devise strategies which will hopefully bring our lives personal and professional fulfillment.
But what happens when our well-devised plans fail us? What happens when the "good" person dies tragically? What happens when we face enormous adversity from which there seems no relief or release?
But what about the unknown? What about the truth that life offers us uncertainty in place of predictability? What about unforeseen events over which no one, especially us, have control?
It is fascinating that quantum physics describes a universe whose basis is often unpredictable. There is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, there are the effects of the observer on the outcome of scientific experiments. Even the nature of light, be it a particle or a wave, will be different depending on the experiment and observations we set up. Relativity implies that ultimate reality is not something objective, removed from the observer. We all creators whether we realize it or not.
That can be rather disconcerting. We would like to believe that there is some underlying order. We would like to believe that good behavior leads to a blessed and joyous life. This is not true. The Book of Job in the Bible speaks to this issue.
Have we made poor decisions in our past? Of course we have. Can we change what has occurred? Of course not….then we we need to let go.
Have we made errors? Have we hurt people we should not have? Can we do anything to change or effect those errors? If so, do so. If not…..let it go.
Has someone we cherish hurt us in anyway? Can we do anything to change what they have done? Were their intentions to hurt us? Or were they self-centered, foolish, unthinking? Either way, we have no ability to change anything….let it go.
Can we do anything to change what has occurred? If not….we must let if go.
Has someone we loved left us? Have they failed to return our love? Have they died? This is the past that cannot be altered…..let it go.
Have those we cherish made bad choices? Can we alter what they have done? Can we intervene and assist them in growing through their errors? If so, do so, if not….let it go.
What can be changed is how we think about our lives. We can learn to process negativity so that it is transformed into a learning experience. We can see adversity not as punishment but as opportunity. We can take our own suffering and become a compassionate advocate for others who suffer.
And in any case, whether we learn from our suffering, grow and help others or simply deal with it on a personal level…..we need to let it go.