Recently I saw one of my patients who was dealing with the suicide of her daughter. She described her desire to see Lynn, the medium I have written about, in order to obtain some healing. After a brief discussion of Lynn's talents, my patient reminded me that I had previously described myself as suffering from mystic envy.
I had to agree. It was a self-proclaimed title. Though I had read about NDE, ADE, medium readings etc. for years, it wasn't until I met individuals who had them, and spoken to them face to face that I realized they were real. It became an issue of credibility and I wrote about the credibility quotient (CQ) as being incredibly important. This was not necessary for those who had the experiences. They had no doubt of the their reality. But it was indespensible for those, like me, who had not—those of us who have mystic envy.
I have come to believe that psychic/mediumship is a talent. Like any other talent it can be developed or ignored. Hard work is required to perfect this natural ability. Just as with sports or music, talent is necessary in order to become truly proficient and although practice and study is mandatory, without the natural ability, it will very likely not occur.
I have accepted the fact that I just don't have it. I do not have obvious clairvoyant or psychic ability. I do not talk to the dead. I don't see them. They do not come to me because they know that.
My mystic envy is just that. I believe I would like to have this ability. But I also know that it can be a two edged sword. I have seen the TV show Psychic Kids and witnessed how difficulty and traumatizing this "gift" can be to them. They do not possess the modalities for dealing with such uninvited insight into people and places, past, present and future.
But apparently I do have a role in the process. Mine is to make connections for those who need them. I will introduce the concept to individuals who are suffering through their bereavement. I might suggest they consider seeing a medium. Those who have often return with considerable resolution of their suffering. They seem uplifted, much less depressed. The medium will offer them such specific information about their deceased loved one that they must agree that a connection has taken place.
So I assume that my mystic envy will remain. But I'm OK with it. I have another role to perform.